The Reason Why
by TrishLove
Summary: Raven, why are you like this? Your friends are here for you and we’re always by your side. What's missing in you? I don't understand! RaeRob. Rated T for mild language.


Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. That's all…

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The Reason Why

_'Why do I even like him? This emotion is definitely not part of my list...'_

That's always the thought that has been haunting and annoying her for months. Ever since Robin saved her from her father and showed her how much he trusted her that time, she began developing strange feelings for him. She can't understand it. And sometimes, she doesn't want to understand it. Why would she think he feels the same way when he did to her as her friend? Why would she think he feels the same way when _that girl_ always gets his attention?

Starfire… She's the reason why Raven always ends up alone in her so-so dark room, blaming herself for having feelings for that Boy Wonder. She knows that the couple looks so perfect together and that they are certainly made for each other. Isn't it obvious? I mean… They are always together. And they enjoy each other's company. Robin, in her opinion, would never appreciate her as much as how he appreciates Starfire. Wait a minute; don't get me wrong. She doesn't blame Starfire for being 'loved' by Robin. But does she blame Robin for not noticing her?

Jealousy….

She absolutely hates it…

Jealous? She is so not jealous.

She never admits to herself that she's jealous. She doesn't want to. But that green coated figure that lives in her mind always-

Oh never mind.

Every time she feels like falling or absolutely met by unrequited love, she would end up leaving the team in their high-tech sala and meditate in her room… Or on the roof top if it's a fine night. Meditation is the best cure for any emotional disorder when it comes to Raven, and the rooftop is one of the best places to meditate at night.

After she has done her meditating position, she closed her eyes, concentrated while chanting her spell. After a few seconds, she could feel herself float. Her concentration is growing stronger every second, thanks to the night's silence. But not until-

"I realized... You seem to be... Lonesome." A sudden familiar voice interrupted. Raven kept chanting her spell. Ignoring him might make him walk away.

But no... He's still there. Eagerly waiting- which is definitely not a good thing. "Uhm... So... I was kind of... Wondering why." He continued in a slightly awkward manner.

_'You don't want to talk to him... You don't even want to see him. All you want is just to relax and meditate.'_

Raven kept trying to do her best in concentrating. Good and straight concentration might save her night. She heard Robin cleared his throat. That made Raven know he's still there.

Waiting for absolutely and clearly nothing...

She raised an eyebrow with her eyes closed, as if concentrating to her very best. It seemed to work, she doesn't sense Robin anymore. She shouldn't care if he'll be standing there the whole night. It took a pretty long moment, but it was worth it. She finally saw the cold and unusual darkness swiftly but gracefully approaching her. Finally, an exit to all her emotions. She can't loose this chance this time. She kept chanting in her mind...

_...Azarath Metrion Zinthos... Azarath Metrion Zinthos... Azarath Metrion Zinthos... Azara-_

"I was wondering why." A sudden voice interrupted. Suddenly the darkness swiftly broke like gas.

...Robin... You're gonna pay for this...

Her eyes quickly opened. Again, she saw the still sea reflecting the city's lights. In her horror, she isn't floating anymore. That's when she realized that she lost her concentration. She groaned under her breath as a silent complaint. She knows she was near that exit and how she was sent back here just because of that Robin. She was really annoyed... And angry. She blamed him for that...

She closed her eyes, still in her meditating position. She has no time for Robin. She doesn't have any time for the world. She doesn't want wasting time for the world. She tried to concentrate again. She slowly and silently began her chant. Still empty. She isn't even floating anymore. She's beginning to completely loose concentration. She's getting really impatient. Then, she felt a hand placed on her right shoulder.

She opened her eyes again, deciding that there's no way she can escape. Damn that Boy Wonder...

Robin kept waiting for her. Realizing the long time of still silence he has been through just by waiting for Raven, he congratulated himself for being the most patient person in the world. He realized she finally decided to open up to him. He retreated his hand and stepped back a little when Raven stood up from her meditation.

But she didn't face him. She kept looking at the sea as the breeze gently blew through her cape. Robin kept waiting for her. He should be patient when disturbing this person.

"Why should you?" She asked. It was more like a phrase than a question. Robin raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Is she trying to shoo him away? She can't do that. She definitely can't do that.

"Excuse me?" He questioned. He declared to himself that it's time for her to know he's the leader. Her leader. He closed his fists and looked at her as if she's glaring at him. Only thing is, it is her back that is facing him. He expected a quick reply from her. But instead, he was met by silence. Isn't she going to say anything? Robin's patience is quickly running out. He forgot the fact that he should be patient with her. He can't stay patient for her forever. He bit his lip in annoyance and decided to speak again. This time, he made sure his voice is firmer. "Raven-"

"I got no time for this." Raven suddenly cut in. Her voice was unexpectedly vicious. Normal, but in a normally vicious way. She inhaled deeply before facing Robin. She found out he was only half a meter away from her. "You will have to go." She continued as she looked directly at Robin's eyes. Or maybe as she tried to... Thanks to that damn mask. Her voice has calmed this time. Her body was stand erected, not daring to move.

Go? Robin just looked back at her. Boy, this is going to be a hard night. He gathered all his courage to speak to her.

"Go?" He asked. He kept glaring at her. Whether waiting for her to reply or waiting for him to calm down, we'll never know. Raven sighed silently. She doesn't have to do this. She just nodded at him as silent as how she wanted it to be.

"H-How come you're pushing me away when I come to you?" He paused for a second. "As a leader, I'm here to help you. That's why I'm asking you. What seems to be the problem?" He continued. He tightened his fists, as if to show Raven he can be more vicious than she is.

Raven just turned away from him. But she didn't leave her position. She just doesn't want to see his face. She doesn't want this. It's a total waste of time. She values time a lot, and she can't take time wasted by this crap.

Crap this is...

Robin, realizing it's taking too long, sighed. His sigh was loud enough for Raven to hear. All those being patient agenda sure are abusing his patience. But then again, he should keep the conversation going. "Didn't you hear me? What's the problem?" He said it gently, not wanting for Raven or both of them to loose patience.

Raven in the other side, is quickly loosing patience. Sure, Robin is gentle with her but he is pretty annoying. And she hates it when someone annoys her. But somehow, she realized that ignoring Robin wouldn't change a thing. He'll still be asking the same question even if it'll take hours. Certainly, she wouldn't want this to last for more than an hour. She's just gotta have to finish this quick. But she's absolutely going to make sure he won't know anything that he shouldn't. She sighed; making sure Robin heard it, before she began speaking. "I always have a problem, Robin..." She said in a monotonous manner, hoping it would all end. She just stood there, as if she ain't talking to no one.

Robin shook his head slowly, thinking of how pathetic Raven could be sometimes. But sometimes, it makes Robin smile when he thinks of it. But no time for smiling now... "I know, Raven. That's why I'm here." He paused and stepped closer to Raven. He again placed his hand on her right shoulder gently. "I'm willing to help you. Let's do this together." He said gently.

The way Robin placed his hand on his shoulder made her cringe. Her eyes widened as she turned her head to her right shoulder. Then she looked at Robin's face only to find out his smirking. Raven felt a strong pressure trying to escape from her body. She quickly kept it in her. She shook her head and almost slapped herself for that. It took her three deep breaths to slowly walk away from him, leaving his hand. That made Robin think she doesn't trust him.

She still didn't face him. She wouldn't dare to. "I..." She trailed off. "I appreciate your concern, Robin." She paused, and then turned to look at the confused Robin. "But you're not helping me at all. In fact, you're making my situation worse by disturbing me." She settled.

Robin can't believe what he heard. Does this lady even know what the hell 'help' means? If this person isn't a confused girl he might have exploded and tell her to look for the definition of the word 'help'. He tried to control himself. "Your situation could've been better if you open up to _me_." He blurted. He began thinking of what he said again and realized he made a big mistake. He gulped as he saw Raven looking at him quizzically. "A-And the rest of us!" He ended it that way.

"I don't need your help!" Raven cried in a stubborn way. More like a complaint.

"Yes you do!"

Raven growled as black tendrils slowly came out of her fingers. She closed her eyes, chanting her spell. When she realized she's getting overboard, she stopped as the tendrils slowly came back to her. She looked at Robin, who seems to be a little horrified. "Don't let me hurt you. I can be vicious when my patience has ran out." Warned the demoness.

"You can't hurt me. I am your leader." Robin argued.

Does that mean he's the boss of her? Raven quickly approached him. She looked at him nearly eye to eye. She narrowed her eyes while staring at his own. "Unfortunately, I can hurt anyone. Infact, can kill anyone. I can always hurt my leader, as well as how I killed my father. You're not even my father." She said in a grave manner. She is always known for her vicious fighting and warning spirit

Robin's jaw dropped. He got surprised by this and ended up speechlessly looking at her. Raven rolled her eyes and groaned in annoyance. She turned and walked four steps away from him. Then she turned again to look at him. "You know what? I'm wasting my time with a crazy person like you! I mean that!" She shouted. She pointed at him and continued. "If you're not going, then I am!"

Robin went back to his senses as he ran to Raven and held her right arm tight. "You're not going anywhere!" He cautioned.

Raven is obviously running out of patience quickly. "Oh yes I am…" She struggled her arm free and looked at him with a warning. "AWAY FROM YOU!"

Robin felt his blood boiling. He suddenly forgot to maintain his patience. He quickly reached his arms to her and took hold of her shoulders in the tightest way possible. This surprised Raven. "Why are you like this, Raven? How come you always keep your whole life from me- and the r-rest of the team? Don't you trust us anymore? Your friends are here for you and we're always by your side. But you're acting like some snob! Why are you like this? I want to know!" Robin persuaded. It took him five quick seconds to realize that he completely lost it. He looked at Raven who seems to be looking down the floor. Her expression looks saddened. Robin blamed himself for that.

Damn…

He slowly let go of her. Automatically, she walked two steps away from him while her body was facing him. She continued looking down the floor. "I-I didn't mean that. I didn't mean what I said." Robin said in a guilty and disappointed manner. "But you have to tell me. Please, tell me why." He pleaded.

Raven turned back, as she took her time to feel the sea breeze blow through her. "I've been hurt for someone in the team for a very long time…" She said softly, almost like a whisper.

Robin shook his head. "Who? Tell me who. And we can all talk this through." This surprised him. How dare someone from the team hurt his or her own teammate? And how come Raven never said a word to him about it? He can't let this pass him. This case is betrayal.

"This person has been hurting me even if he didn't do anything to intentionally hurt me, Robin. Don't you get me?" Raven replied quickly. Tears are trying to escape from her eyes. But she did her best to keep it in.

"Raven... I can't understand..."

"I know you don't understand and you shouldn't. Even I myself can't understand."

Robin raised an eyebrow in curiosity and confusion. "Wha-?"

Raven suddenly interrupted him. "There is nothing you should know. I have my own life. I'm not even trying to disturb you! I know you're doing your best to help me as a friend but... I don't need your help. I don't WANT your help. I didn't even ask for your help. For anybody's help. So... Goodnight, Robin." She said.

"W-Wait!" Before Robin can have a chance to grab her, black tendrils suddenly surrounded her as she went down through the roof, leaving a confused Robin. Robin cursed himself for being too late. He just looked at the part where she went through.

"Damn... I wish I can do that..."

Raven ended up in her room. The darkest room found in the tower. She sighed, almost disappointed at herself for giving him a pretty close clue. She can't believe the way Robin forced her to tell him what's wrong. She doesn't want to be forced that way. Somehow, she ended up leaving him alive because she likes him. It makes her cringe whenever she thought of that.

She looked at her messy room, realizing she hasn't cleaned it for a long time. Never mind, it's too dark to see the mess, anyway.

As she walked to her bed, she noticed an old folded piece of paper on the floor, which she almost stepped on. She leaned over to get it and examined it. It is so old that it's as rough as a lump of deformed rock. But unlike a rock, it's sensitive and can be easily teared apart. It is somehow very familiar to her.

She first sat on her bed before she slowly unfolded it. After the paper was carefully unfolded, Raven gasped as she looked at the faded picture of a young handsome sorcerer. His long white hair and blue eyes gave her a hint who this person is.

_'Rorek…' _

**End **

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AN: Thank you for reading. I guess this story's going to end up as a one-shot cliffhanger. If you really want it continued you can inform me and maybe, just maybe, if I'm convinced, I can continue it. I can make a love triangle in this story…

If ever I'll continue it.


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